That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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