I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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