making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize