no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
