I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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