We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
