At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I lost the right to judge tonight
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
