I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
