Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
