I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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