Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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