The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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