we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
