Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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