Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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