So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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