well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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