Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
