I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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