I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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