just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
