Me. At least after what I've been through.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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