just come out here and I will go home with you...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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