do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
