he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
