Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
