Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
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dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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