Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im six kinds of drunk right now
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
