Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
worst night to have a conscience
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
