If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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