Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
