Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
