That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
