She is in my trunk
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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