wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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