yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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