a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
