I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
