do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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