That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
