So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize