You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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