New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
