did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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