Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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