she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
