Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
