I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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