K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize