I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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