lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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