dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
