I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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