There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize