after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
