So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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