Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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