Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
