you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
