She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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