Little spoons don't ask big questions
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
